note: because this is a masterpost, not all stuff here are NEWS-related (though most of 'em are~)
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Decided to make this post because all the memories of October 7, 2011 came flooding back when I learned the news about Nicole leaving KARA and Jiyoung still contemplating whether to leave or not.
The memories were relieved and haunted me again... At first it was a bad thing; recalling every detail made me cry hard (and even contributed to my fever last Saturday ><), but Sunday night came and as with the details clearer than ever, those details made me reflect on the deeper impact of the news, its overall impact in the fandom and in my life as a fangirl.
Before October 7, 2011
I had no idea. I had no idea about the initial rumors of Yamapi leaving, no idea about Yamapi's promise to fans. I also had very little idea about Yamapi or Ryo's feelings toward NEWS, and finally, I had scarce idea about NEWS' relationship as a whole.
All I knew was they weren't releasing something, and all I did was wait.
Why? That time, I was a blind fan. I knew nothing but the songs, the PVs, the concerts and the guestings; the members, their personalities, their appearances. I didn't care much about NEWS' relationship with each other, all I cared for was "NEWS looks perfect". Yes they looked perfect, but were they perfect? I didn't notice the awkwardness among the members. I didn't notice that there were times Ryo or Pi was nowhere to be found because they had other commitments--I didn't notice all of that--except for Soukon, of course, it was quite obvious that the Soukon team had no RyoPi in it. But I didn't care. Because I was a blind fan.
So during the months that they were inactive, I was just waiting. Patiently waiting.
During October 7, 2011
A pretty normal day. In the afternoon, I quit one of my text clans because I wanted to take a break from texting. Along with me another member quit too, and we were laughing at that instance. When evening came, I randomly watched Pacific concert. I noticed I was giving unusual compliments on Pi, 'unusual' because I never talked about Pi this way:
"Pi has a wonderful smile! He smiles like this when he's with NEWS, I can see that he's really happy in the group."
After a couple of hours I received a text from kyaaaAri (Ariel) delivering the news about RyoPi's withdrawal.
"kyaaaAkuma... umalis na ang RyoPi sa NEWS."
It was all so sudden. I did not believe her at first, but after exchanging a few more texts I learned that she was serious (and that was when I also learned that Yamapi had a promise to fans), I started crying. I can't describe how much tears I've shed that night. I cried for hours, my family were already asleep so I went to the balcony of our house and continued crying there. Muttering things, flipping chairs and tables, shouting and cursing (I didn't use swear words tho), looking at the cloudy sky, praying, humming, singing... All my anger for RyoPi, all my worries for the remaining four.
This is what I wrote in my diary:
12. Rank them from 1 to 6/4 (1 being the best) when it comes to dancing.
This is hard. Hmm...
Ranking (1-6) *my supposed-to-be-ranking*