addictdesu: (NEWS)

Decided to make this post because all the memories of October 7, 2011 came flooding back when I learned the news about Nicole leaving KARA and Jiyoung still contemplating whether to leave or not.

The memories were relieved and haunted me again... At first it was a bad thing; recalling every detail made me cry hard (and even contributed to my fever last Saturday ><), but Sunday night came and as with the details clearer than ever, those details made me reflect on the deeper impact of the news, its overall impact in the fandom and in my life as a fangirl.



Before October 7, 2011

Ignorance

I had no idea. I had no idea about the initial rumors of Yamapi leaving, no idea about Yamapi's promise to fans. I also had very little idea about Yamapi or Ryo's feelings toward NEWS, and finally, I had scarce idea about NEWS' relationship as a whole.

All I knew was they weren't releasing something, and all I did was wait.

Why? That time, I was a blind fan. I knew nothing but the songs, the PVs, the concerts and the guestings; the members, their personalities, their appearances. I didn't care much about NEWS' relationship with each other, all I cared for was "NEWS looks perfect". Yes they looked perfect, but were they perfect? I didn't notice the awkwardness among the members. I didn't notice that there were times Ryo or Pi was nowhere to be found because they had other commitments--I didn't notice all of that--except for Soukon, of course, it was quite obvious that the Soukon team had no RyoPi in it. But I didn't care. Because I was a blind fan.

So during the months that they were inactive, I was just waiting. Patiently waiting.


During October 7, 2011

Devastation

A pretty normal day. In the afternoon, I quit one of my text clans because I wanted to take a break from texting. Along with me another member quit too, and we were laughing at that instance. When evening came, I randomly watched Pacific concert. I noticed I was giving unusual compliments on Pi, 'unusual' because I never talked about Pi this way:

"Pi has a wonderful smile! He smiles like this when he's with NEWS, I can see that he's really happy in the group."

After a couple of hours I received a text from kyaaaAri (Ariel) delivering the news about RyoPi's withdrawal.

"kyaaaAkuma... umalis na ang RyoPi sa NEWS."

It was all so sudden. I did not believe her at first, but after exchanging a few more texts I learned that she was serious (and that was when I also learned that Yamapi had a promise to fans), I started crying. I can't describe how much tears I've shed that night. I cried for hours, my family were already asleep so I went to the balcony of our house and continued crying there. Muttering things, flipping chairs and tables, shouting and cursing (I didn't use swear words tho), looking at the cloudy sky, praying, humming, singing... All my anger for RyoPi, all my worries for the remaining four.

This is what I wrote in my diary:

Really. From 9 to 4? So absurd. So frustrating. So disappointing.
I love the Soukon team. But it’s not the NEWS that I don’t want to break.

I’m having a breakdown.
I’m crying a liter of tears. 1 liter of Tears—Ryo?
Ryo left NEWS right? And Pi, who promised he’ll never do.  ><

Lamenting with me is the stupid rain. Reminds me of Taiyou no Namida. Your single. Your NUMBER 1 single. One of your NUMBER 1 singles. And boy, ALL your singles are NUMBER 1!
ARE YOU BLIND??? ARE YOU NOT CONTENTED???

Now I want to go to Japan and slap RyoPi’s faces. Those faces. The faces of NEWS. Now they’re out of NEWS. Damn.
I AM DREAMING OF YOU COMING BACK. *sobs*

--


I almost lose my faith. It wasn't clarified to me that NEWS will still continue as a four-member group... I thought they were disbanding.
So when I wrote the entry, there was a lot more hate (This was the edited version, and the original, ALL-HATE-ALL-CAPS entry was already in the trash bin. Now I'm regretting throwing it away 'coz I wanna know my exact initial words that could've ornamented this post! :p)

Meanwhile, a surge of hope in spite of the bitterness made me add this in the diary entry:

Koyama loves NEWS so much. He will be a great leader, loving NEWS greater each day.
Tegoshi’s home is NEWS. He started here, and until the end he will remain faithful here.
Shige is smart enough to know that NEWS needs him. He will guide NEWS throughout the story.
Massu smiles because of NEWS. He will continue supporting and showing his cheerful smile even more.

( ^ If you noticed there are 16 words per sentence. It was supposed to be poem-like, and besides, 4 x 4 = 16.)

Then I also wrote my new NEWS ranking:

-Tego
-Keii
-Masu
-Kato

I commented below the entry, "kelangan talaga 4 letters?" Obviously, I was exaggerating the essence of the new NEWS: Four. 4-nin.

By the way, throughout the setting I was only singing one song.
Fly Again. ♪


After October 7, 2011

Promise

After that painful day I promised to NEWS that I'll love them even more (hey, they stayed! And the fact that Tegoshi's still there... ♥)
I somehow didn't fulfill that promise during the latter part of 2011 and early 2012 because I got into other fandoms (temptations are everywhere orz). But I knew in my heart that my support for NEWS got stronger.

Also, it was after a few months that I had the courage to read articles regarding RyoPi's withdrawal. And the good news? I wasn't blind anymore, the fans' comments and NEWS' own comments opened my eyes. I now know that what happened paved the way for a happier, healthier NEWS. And if before I thought of 6-nin as the perfect NEWS? Well.... 4-nin is not perfect, but they're definitely the best.

Anyway, I'll include the people's comments that caught my attention (I'll put 'em as anon)
their voices... )

Many things happened I can't sum it up here... It's been two years, wow. But what's more amusing, it's been 10 years since NEWS was formed. The past two years was only a part of a much more larger and dramatic history.

Cheers to the group and the fanbase. Happy 2nd anniversary 4-nin NEWS.
addictdesu: (NEWS 2)




まだ知らない明日の HAPPY 物語は僕らでつくろう
"we still don't know what tomorrow's happy
story will be, but let's build it together"
-NEWS, Cherish

I haven't made a message for NEWS. Not yet. I'll do that later before I sleep. Because I want to write my honest feelings and keep it to myself, for even if I shout it or not, I know NEWS will know it.

But of course I made some little presents and a hearty tribute to these boys.
HERE & HERE

Happy anniversary. Tezutettetotte I love you NEWS. ♥
addictdesu: (NEWS)
Hello LiveJournal and dearest F-list! (Actually there's no need to put "f-list here" because all my posts aren't friends-locked, so... ^_^)

I would like to share to you my feeeels for the weeeek. (LOL) The busy, exciting, tiring, overwhelming week before NEWS' 10th birthday.

I struggle. )

--

THE PLAN! )

Below: even Tumblr is excited hahahaha~ xDDD
tumblr_mswvwqDG881qc9iguo1_1280
addictdesu: (tegoshi desu pose)
a

19. Your favorite GIF and/or SWF.

note: What does SWF mean? Seriously, I don't know O.o

My favorite gif... I can't decide, but it has to have
Tegoshi in it! *searches gifs from my 30-DNC Day 3 post* ♪♫♪♫

Or if not... Any gif concerning Tegomass no Mahou concert (for it is my favorite concert eveeeeer).



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