Promise me a place

April 12 is rad, astrology says! Technically, my anniversary in the Panic! At The Disco bandom is still 10 days from now, but today marks the exact first year of my rediscovery of the band. What makes it special, it's the frontman of a one-man band's (HAHAHAHAHAHA) date of birth--HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRENDON BOYD URIE!


(cr: popbuzz)

Happy 30th beeboday. Blessed guy is now 30. /Show praise with your body, stand up, sing Hallelujah. Hallelujah!/ I'm personally excited for what I'll see over the net for Beebo's birthday; P!ATD fans are some of the most creative folks I have ever seen. And lover of memes, as belonging to the lover of memes, emo kids and post-emo kids will always have sarcasm on the upfront. I wanna know why they got me going and it seems I already found one of the answers: memes.

I easily jumped in to the fast-growing fanbase (or BANDwagon, you could say) because of the amount of memes that made me laugh when I started to stan Panic!. Top with Brendon's naturally meme-worthy face, his grandiose expressions and "voice higher than my grades" claims, it was very easy to dig further and further that the memes I saw were already repeating. Then again, P!ATD fandom belongs to the most creative folks I've seen so we don't run out of memes; Brendon himself makes new ones, sadly not through shortlived site Vine but he still makes memes out of his actions, words... and face.


(cr: coupdemain--this was posted only a day ago!)

Of course, it's not all about memes or the laughs factor. It doesn't even comprise half of the reasons why it gets me going. The songs, whether they're Ryan Ross-origins or Brendon Urie-composed (or Dallon, or Jon or Spencer or... Brent?) speak to me until now. It doesn't have to be the lyrics, the music gives me life. But the lyrics are genius too--these had made P!ATD a breakout act in the first place.

Music videos are eccentric, though not ultra-eccentric it loses its 'pop' factor. Brendon said P!ATD is pop, albeit it's also different from a pop band; lol I wouldn't even start discussing what genre Panic! is because Panic! defies genre. What Brendon probably meant by pop is Panic! exists to reach everybody's airwaves by their 'slightly' controversial concepts (1, 2), out of the box lyricism, music adapted from music, and exuberance. My goodness, Brendon's exuberance. *warning, brief mention of bias ahead~* Tegoshi may be hyper but Brendon is HIGHper he might have outdid Johnny's with his backflips. Heck, he outdid most future with his forehead.

*Sorry, this is an inside joke :p*

About the "music adapted from music" part, P!ATD's critics would agree that the band is not big on originality. Every album is inspired by certain artists, like when A Fever You Can't Sweat Out was a product of trying to be different from their Garage Rock neighbors in Las Vegas, it ended up sounding like a Fall Out Boy rehashed. Pretty. Odd. could be mistaken to be a The Beatles demo album. Vices and Virtues was more original, but then it was also similar-sounding with '80s alternative rock. Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die! was another attempt to be different, for Panic! to be different from itself and so it contains electronic tracks, akin to underground electronic bands. Death Of A Bachelor was an obvious fusion of Sinatra and Queen--Brendon is proud of imitating his idols, whether critics say he fails or is trying hard.

But you can't really question the originality of Panic!'s music when music is largely sampled especially in the era of today. What they are complaining about, maybe, is the argument that Panic! is and should be an alternative band, not a music act which strives to do metal at one point, and Broadway musical the next. This kind of experimentation should be left to the legends--wait, isn't Beebo already a legend? :p



For the record, Brendon is a drunk legend. He likes beer, vines about beer, includes any kind of hard drinks in his lyrics, etcetera. As long as he knows where to draw the line, and it appears he does, then I'll see beer on every casual video and not make qualms. Brendon has/had ADHD and while conditions are usually not to be thankful for, his own drove him to be the experimental guy, the no-brainer when it comes to new things. Because he believes that Crazy = Genius He has tried playing about 20 instruments. He aquires skills just because. He can do stunts, he jumps from rooftops to pools, he can dance and act (we're just waiting for his big break in Hollywood lol), he can pull off a transvestite, he can make a stadium-full audience laugh for 15 minutes straight. But he doesn't do that, he'll just jump from topic to topic. Most importantly, he can narrate a full rad history even when drunk!

Brendon is legitimately nice. Figuratively, he likes to include everyone in the big tour bus (don't try to crowd him though, he has anxiety) and swim in invisible waters with the sharks until we drown. Or if that is morbid (yeah that is), he just wants everyone to treat each other equally and with respect. He doesn't hide his bold opinions of what's good, bad and dirty, he never holds back calling out the bigots: he has tirades against Trump, against homophobes, against sexists, against bullies, against himself when he was younger, etc. Together with his natural creativity, his good heart makes him a true unicorn (his MBTI is ENFP by the way *o*)

He loves his wife. Brendon and Sarah are #CoupleGoals!!!! In their 8 years of being together and almost 4 years of marriage, Brendon consistently expresses adoration for Sarah, like a true fanboy (awwwwweeee). I mean it ain't the end of all things, though that was his wedding vow :p If I have one wish for Brendon's birthday, it is for their family to stay strong and grow in the years ahead!


(cr: banyabell.tumblr)

He really is my spirit animal. He has flaws, he had depression, as the youngest he was spoiled, he was rebellious, was a fuccboi in the past and had fought with band members. These don't outweigh the positive things he possess, and the good qualities he evolved to. I love his busy, wandering mind. I love his dedication to music. I love his flamboyance, showing off the stuff he can do, 'cause why not? I love his stand on social issues. I love how he always remind his fans to be fearless and expressive. "You're a treasure, not trash."



Many more fans, especially those who've seen him in real life, would testify how inspiring of a human being Brendon is. In this birthday post, I hope I've condensed everything I know, what I love about him and Panic!, why the person and the band gets me going. Can I say more, I'm ready to go.

More than a month of fangirling over Panic! At The Disco and this band effortlessly makes its mark on me as a lifetime influence, just like NEWS. It took the same quick period for NEWS to secure that spot in my life, by the way. (And look how far I've gone walking with NEWS ♥ With Panic! it might just be the same!)

There's no denying it. Panic! is now at par with NEWS: My number 1 fandom, my favorite people, my greatest inspiration, etc. And because I can't just let two "number ones" compete for my enthusiasm, time and appreciation, I've cited a big distinction between the two; yeah, I sound like a sore arbiter but it has made me at peace with my feelings ever since. (Damn were the days in late April when I was very new to Panic! and I kept weighing my passion for both bands ><)


NEWS in QUARTETTO concert tour (cr: inala )

NEWS is my family. The place where I belong. It's a habitat that thrives on love; I get my ample share, and I give my ample support in return. Here is where I feel the safest, yet here is also where I feel bold. Tegoshi is my ideal person. Despite this, I don't actually want to be like Tegoshi. And NEWS' personality doesn't really speak to me on a personal level. I've found more of myself in Panic!.

Key word in NEWS is familial.

(cr: Panic!'s FB page)

Panic! At The Disco is my spirit animal. It's who I am both in my weakest and in my strongest. I see myself in the metaphors of their lyric-writing, especially Ryan's. I see my ideal self in Brendon's personality, musicality, and creativity. I want to be like Brendon. The band's success and freedom are my goals. But my source of nurturing and support is NEWS. And Tegoshi remains as my ideal person.

Key word in P!ATD is personal.

But maybe you wonder HOW it's Panic! among other bands and artists. Tbh, since I became into NEWS, Western bands, whatever genre they're doing, were all the same to me. The Panic! I knew, was a musical fling back in 2008. For a fact, I didn't know who Panic! was/were, except for the attention-hogging name *!* and a couple of songs which were a little part of my huge adolescent playlist by various artists and that was the actual musical fling).

I sang along to I Write Sins Not Tragedies and even made a Tagalog parody without knowing the names of the band members and what they look like. So how did that change? How was I reintroduced to the band and became the fan that I am today? Oh, well imagine, as I'm searching Wikipedia about Neoclassical Music and I can't help but to see, oh I can't help but to see a link that says: "List of Baroque Pop Artists"...


...It's partly NEWS' fault.

April 12, 2016. I was halfway through my QUARTETTO album review (that still isn't posted is also posted today, after almost 3 months delay, and it's partly Panic!'s fault! Hahaha) when I had to check Wikipedia for Classical Music terms and references. NEWS' new style is specifically Neoclassical (lit. "New Classical") and its subgenres, best known of which is Baroque Pop. Out of curiosity, I checked the link List of Baroque Pop Artists to see if maybe there are familiar artists I'd chance there. I saw Kalafina in the list and I was honestly not surprised, though very, very pleased because the JPop trio was my jam at the time (They're still my jam!). Besides Kalafina, Panic! At The Disco was present.

Taking a break from my NEWS review I clicked on Panic!'s Wiki page, and it's not that I didn't have any choice of other artists yet I was genuinely interested why the band is under Baroque Pop. I knew them as an alternative rock band--again, I actually didn't know anything about the band prior to rediscovery but I wasn't that ignorant to not know they were alternative rock. Sure, I memorized 'I Write Sins...' stripped down to its cello intro but the other Panic! songs I remembered were so different from each other.

But the thing that intrigued me more was seeing the current line-up: a one-man band! Naturally, you'd check that sole member when there are no other options to check (ex-members are another topic). Coincidentally, it was Brendon *I wrote "Brandon" in my diary and people in the fandom said 90% will probably get his name wrong at first encounter--and I belong to that huge percentage orz* Urie's birthday that day so being a cheesy believer of fate I believed the coincidence was a sign I have to explore the band.


He's approximately 7 months older than Tegoshi, and approx 8 years older than me. Wtf is with these '87-liners huhuu


Also as I was having problems regarding my feelings for Tegoshi *HAHAHAHA I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT IT, LIVEJOURNAL!* the urge for exploring other artists was strong (though I have been in the exploration phase since last year). I listened to MAMAMOO, AOA, and Kalafina more frequently than I listened to NEWS, and since Panic!'s confusing genre retained to me throughout that week, I finally searched the band on Youtube.

At this point my interest to know Panic! grew at a fast rate. Aside from the obvious that Victorious, I Write Sins Not Tragedies, and Nine In The Afternoon are insanely different songs for a single band and that kind of variety is my ultimate dream if I become a de facto musician, I was sure I knew more songs; I just haven't recalled everything yet.

In my second try at exploring the band on Youtube I saw more recent as well as familiar songs/videos, and the incessant variety kept me excited. I was particularly awestruck by Time To Dance, it was one of the old songs I liked so baaaad. Hearing it again after years was so classic it evoked an important question--why didn't I appreciate Panic! as much as I did for Paramore?--that question is important because Paramore is my first-ever favorite artist, hence I never dared to put it in line with my fandoms and other favorites.

Until I rediscovered Panic! and I was oddly attracted to the band strong enough that after Youtube I immediately followed fandom pages/websites too. Finally, it was during midnight of April 22, ten days after Brendon's birthday and the accidental rediscovery, that I proclaimed over a sleepless night of laughing to Panic! memes: The band is now officially added to my fandoms. ♥

That's when something unprecendented (at least for me) happened. A couple of hours later, Panic! announced that they'll be having a concert in the Philippines this August!


Caption: This kind of news would really give one a panic *oh yeah I just made a pun involving my two faves! xD


The rest is history; I mean, it's just a little over a month since I entered the fandom but in the days and weeks I've spent many big changes already happened, as seen from how it quickly climbed the ladder from being "just another fandom" to being the number one fandom.


Discography & Line-up changes. You know you truly love something when you love every aspect of it. (cr: panicatthesocialgrathering)

And no, it's more than fandom stuff. Things have changed personally, from my way of thinking, to my habits, to my goals. I'm currently working all of these so it's not a great time to discuss personal matters, and maybe they're too personal for the blog anyway.

I still love NEWS truly, deeply... but Panic! At The Disco redefined me. As I said, Panic! is my spirit animal. For the band's fans, it feels uncomfortable when the exclamation point in the name is missing. For me, it's my turning point in that exclamation point.