addictdesu: (tegoshi wacky)
[personal profile] addictdesu
I have a lot to blog for the first quarter of 2015, that the yearender special I decided to set aside. But 2014 was my happiest year in 5 years despite NEWS' inactivity (again), and here are the sentiments I need to let out! (let 'em go, let 'em go, can't hold 'em back anymore~)

Just a fair warning: most of my 2014 happiness came from ze personal life so this might be more of a real-life post than a fandom one.
You can skip the first part and read the second cut (fandom-centered) instead :)

2014 was the year I discovered my true self, my insecurities, and my capabilities. Studying astrology since 2013, I somehow stopped in the first few months of 2014 and eventually I was back on track again. I realized my life as controlled by the 'stars', so I started to try navigating it, with the help of newfound philosophies and some old, tried, and tested beliefs. Where did I get those things?

The power of inspiration. 4 years in the fandom, I really waited for this year to come. Four is a beloved number--you know why--and passing this mark made me feel secure in my place in the fandom world. T'was the year where I felt the most comfortable in making the fandom a part of my lifestyle, morphing into a 'senpai' fan. I don't consider myself a newbie anymore ('coz I still did, in 2013).
If you could call this something as great as divine providence. Or caused by the philosophical depth I've gained. I’ve never stuck to something for more than four years, so having gone through the fourth year in the fandom I knew it was my first ultimate step to--well, forever. I hope so.

Finding the way in, and the way out. Astrology wasn't the only key-to-self tool I used in 2014. I got interested in Psychology, especially the 16 Types of personality by Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).* For me this was more complex than astrology that's why I didn't push through with the study, although it was a great stepping stone to knowing myself--and understanding other individuals better. Aside from detouring to Psychology I had my basics with Numerology. Lastly, amidst these scientific and ocular stuff (okay I didn't want to use the word ocular but idk any related term), my spiritual side has been strengthened too. I became friends with some awesome people from Jehova's Witnesses and I receive a regular supply of JW magazines. Meanwhile, towards the end of the year, my Catholic faith bloomed, by attending (and almost completing!) the Simbang Gabi for the first time in my life. I also attended a province-wide prayer meeting in October.

Living and breathing in your body, using the gray matter in your own head, and feeling the beating of your own heart sometimes aren't enough to understand yourself. While it's true that "no one knows you better than you", we are usually blinded by the things on the surface, that we can't see our deeper sides. But there will be a time when you thirst for a fuller understanding of your emotional make-up. Your hidden fears and unsprung joys. The passion within; the monsters, the angels. These words coming from my mind now aren't superficial. I am not thinking of flowery words nor trying to make this blog post like a college essay nor an idea for a fic. I say these because it was in 2014 that the thirst was finally quenched. I've found myself. 2014 has packed me enough.

* = I cannot talk profoundly about this subject because I've only read the basics. If you want to know more about MBTI or curious about your personality type, there are a lot of sources in the net.

The beginning of courage. The single most memorable experience of my 2014 was the audition/screening at The Voice of the Philippines! I won't add details here; le diary already got 'em covered. I joined one more singing contest after The Voice and sang at some weddings and events. It wasn't just these experiences that put an extra glee to my year... The extra one, was in July, when I met one of my cousins I haven't seen in a long time (with "in a long time" I mean like 10 years or more). He had grown up charming and talented. He said he wants to be a performer (he's a KPop fan btw) and believed that I could somehow help him so. Of course I couldn't. I still couldn't. But it made me realize that I have my own influence on people... That there are people who actually look up to me not because I demanded them to. I realized I could shine in my own effortless ways.

Despite these, 2014 brought out my insecurities to its maximum. Knowing myself better, blah blah blah, I learned not only my strengths but my weaknesses. I dreaded them. I hated why I have so many weak points. So, in 2014, I wasn't only highlighting the good things in me. I focused on the bad, too. I even planted a grudge on my mom's natural extroversion and ability to charm everyone. I accused her of being insensitive for not understanding the feelings of a loser--me. For the first time in my life I thought my family doesn't really love me as a person, they just love me because I'm an inseparable part of it. These are the moments I'm sure everyone has undergone for at least once in their lives.

Almost loss. Our beloved dog, Maxx, nearly died in May. I remember I was crying on my birthday, worried of where to get a loan for the dog's hospital bills. Or if the hospital could ever save him. It took more than a month for him to recover. I could describe how much I love Maxx--to the point where my sisters are Lea x Maxx shippers!--but, that would have to be on another entry. If I could make one. orz

Maxx, in his recovery period. (this is the first time I've mentioned and posted a pic of Maxx here, dear LJ!)

To Travel Hopefully. Written by Christopher Rush, this is a memoir of the author travelling the mountains of Cevennes in Southern France to cope with bereavement. I don't have any experience of loss similar to him, thank God; however, this book helped me through my darkest times of 2014. And the travel part is just so inspiring~

Speaking of travel. 2014 was the year I've travelled to most places! I didn't plan to, yet certainly I aimed to, and it came true. Tegoshi said on his J-web that it “might be the most I’ve gone overseas in a single year.” See the parallelism there?  I won't press on it too hard. It's just... me and bias achieved a common goal, and... without the Tegoshi I am happy of this achievement, what more now that it has a Tegoshi?


Now that I've mentioned my bias it's time for the second half of the post which talks of fandom happenings, even though NEWS itself lacked news in 2014. These are arranged randomly, and some parts would still relate greatly to my personal interests and/or stories. I might be missing out on some things; feel free to comment.

NEWS: Tegomass no Seishun (TMnS) album, TMnS tour, NEWS10th DVD, ONE -for the win-, SEVEN COLORS PV, 4X9.

^ So it looks like a wordy sentence but in reality it isn't. One single. No album and concert tour. A TV show? Yes, a one-episode-and-sadly-it-will-never-happen-again TV show. A DVD. Of a 2013 concert that was expected to be released on that year too. And aaand Tegomass finally did something! They should, after 2 years of letting NEWS adjust their 4-nin stat first. NEWS celebrated their 11 years in 2014, but it felt like their pre-debut year was even more eventful. (I'M EXAGGERATING THO :p)


I won't delve into these one by one. There are people who actually blog these stuff anyway. And looking through my previous posts show updates and rambles--the least I could do since waiting time is longer than flailing time. However, there are minor but impactful things, and little, but memorable happenings which made 2014 a boom boom pow nevertheless.

It's more fun in the Philippines. It's more than just a tagline advocated by the Department of Tourism. Japanese entertainment loved our country in 2014, didn't it? I have here the list of proofs, but of course the content is within the scope of my fangirling concerns. There are KPop add-ons too but I won't make another point for Korean entertainment so I decided to mix them all here.

Almost in chronological order. I'm not sure about the dates and credibility of some:

-HonKowa aired on Philippine TV (started last week of December 2013, GMA7)
-Massu in Philippine TV (GMA7)

-Uchuusentai Noiz in PH (concert)
-Seungyeon in PH (DKFC)

-Yamapi in Philippine TV (GMA7)

-Itazura na Kiss aired on Philippine TV (GMA7)

-Gyuri in Cebu (vacation)
-Tegoshi in Manila (ItteQ)

-RK cast in Manila (premiere, showing)
-MAMMAMIA aired on Philippine radio (106.7)

-Lupin III in PH (shot in an earlier date, showing)

October-Taipi in Philippine TV (GMA7)

-Kamen Rider OOO aired on Philippine TV (GMA7)

-hit Japanese dramas aired on Philippine TV (Jeepney TV)

gyuri in cebu
Gyuri in Cebu, May 2014 (credits as watermarked)

It's hard to describe the excitement I got whenever there were announcements of this sort. ItaKiss to be aired during weekday afternoons, in Filipino dub; RK cast going to Manila for the Red Carpet premiere. Learning that some scenes of the Lupin III movie were shot in the Philippines; Gyuri randomly posting about her scuba diving in Cebu; Massu suddenly appearing on TV screens for the January 5 episode of HonKowa. All of these, are treasures for a fan whose fandom isn't reached by a train ride alone.
And you know what had the strongest impact.#‎TegoshiSaPilipinas. There was only one accounted fangirl who happened to chance by Tegoshi, yet, all--literally all Filipino fans sympathized with her. The friggin' Tinikling performance video went viral--twice--to fans and non-fans alike. As a biased fan I am probably making a big deal out of this. However, I'm only giving the facts straight and I see nothing overboard. To Tinikling and to Tegoshi Yuya!

KARA comeback. KARA had a comeback: a fierce, enchanting one. I haven't talked about this in detail on any of my blog posts, eh? Guess I wasn't really focusing on it. The truth is, I did! Party party party Mamma mia! I wouldn't love Youngji, the new member/new maknae/the candidate for my new KARA bias, if I hadn't pay enough attention to the comeback of the group. I guess I am not used commenting on the way KPop twists things. I'm not much on speaking KPop language, that in this one I couldn't give my full opinion on. All I could say is I definitely love the new member so it's not like I'm still in a trauma or something. I am happy for ex-mem Jiyoung who is starting to make a name as an actress in Japan (and has already worked with some JE guys OMG), and ex-mem Nicole who got back in the game as a soloist just before 2014's end. Back to KARA, MAMMAMIA was my August jam and So Good was a mood-lifter! I swear I focused on them at some time, for some time. But perhaps I wasn't ready to write the feels back then.

The most interesting thing about the MAMMAMIA phase was, I had my share in a fan war in Youtube! That was such an experience. I never considered being called IDIOT a bad moment. It was a high time for laughs, wits and smarts. I don't like to volunteer in a fan war again though I won't run away if I get involved in one.

Heo Youngji, KARA's new member

Kis-My-TwentyFourteen. Nowadays, Kisumai is the only group who could level with Arashi in number of activity. I don't feel the need to stay updated; the updates are always welling and it's quick for an update to get old and be replaced by new ones. This is the reason why I'm somewhat unmotivated to follow them around (besides the obvious point that I'm more committed to seeking and spreading news about NEWS and/or KARA). But in all my fandoms, there will always be the intense flailing moments and in Kis-My-Ft2, trust me, there's a heap of these moments in 2014.

I celebrated my 1st year as a Kisumai fan last December--in a simple recollection of the not-so-subtle fangirling memories I've had. Especially with [ profile] erikz_16 who introduced me to the group, and [ profile] haelin, my flail-buddy, my number one provider of everything Kisumai. Going to their houses, giving me the needed links, if not posters and leaves of magazines. Watching their concerts, etc. Having a Tama-Tama/Tama-Taipi bonding time. Me sharing how much I love MiyaTama OTP and how I adore Nikaido. Ate cake, sundae, smoothie, to fishball and sopas! We're Paanas as well, but it was Kisumai who served as the bridge between me and ate Ai's closeness. (ang cheesy ko LOL but I doubt ate Ai will see this hahaha~). As for Erika, Kisumai added variety to our flailings.
And I've had many Kisumai-related dreams! Some of these dreams are more creative and interesting than my NEWS-related dreams, I wonder why? It probably shows that the colorful Kisumai PVs don't just get stuck on my head, but on my subconscious too.

Screencap collage in PERFECT WORLD PV (via twitter)

There are tons of things worth including in this yearender post. The simple details, such as seeing a shooting star twice; the meet-ups with Ria whom I feel very comfortable talking to about any topic (from Tegoshi to Politics to the problems in my family); the times of restlessness caused by a fanfic; the first time I posted a multi-chap. Our calamansi tree finally bore fruit! Our cactus died! I learned how to cook purple yam! And I injured my foot while playing "futsal"--using a snail shell as the ball.

I hope I conveyed it well: why I love 2014. My aim is to make 2015 even better, because having equipped with the experience and wisdom I've gained I think I can now focus on moving forward~

****EXTRA: Memo-memories! (MY) 2014 AWARDS****

hashtag of the year: #てずてってとって‎NEWS
ItteQ scene of the year: snake massage
oops! moment of the year: Tegoshi admitting he's a bi? Erase-erase; it was all a misunderstanding he said
treasure of the year: The NEWS album I won from [ profile] sg_paanas giveaway
meet-up of the year: kulitan with MassuDhes
number of places I've been to the first time: 10+
destination of the year: Navotas? Because I got lost big time!
LSS of the year: ETERNAL MIND (Kis-My-Ft2)
non-fandom LSS of the year: Let It Go (Idina Menzel/Matsu Takako)
personality of the year: Heo Youngji
member-ai of the year: THIS QUESTION IS THE HARDEST. I LOVE ALL THE MEMBER AI. But I'm gonna choose an underrated--the subtle Koyashige moment in 1FTW making
Tegoshi hairstyle of the year: the edible pink hair
OTP of the year: Tegoleya as always. Tego x sheep. Don't question my love for Tegosheep.

color of the year: orange
indulgence of the year: chocolate
jamming of the year: bonding and adventures with kuya Christian and Stephen
longest sleep: 10 hours only?
number of Tumblr followers: 595
fave/luckiest months: January, March, July, August, December


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