addictdesu: (tegoshi heart)
[personal profile] addictdesu
Belated happy birthday Koyama Keiichiro! As usual, late greetings (⊇Λ⊆) I also didn't post anything on Tumblr this time (I haven't had posts since... Feb?  (IMISSTUMBLRSOMUCH). I made a quick status on Facebook but it wasn't proper to be even considered a birthday post.

But I won something in regards to his birthday! In [ profile] sg_paanas Koyama-themed giveaway, I unexpectedly scored the prize. Unexpected because I was doubting then if I should join the giveaway knowing the contest is Koyama-centered; I thought I might affect Koyapaanas IN CASE i win. But nothing hurts in trying. And nothing hurts in winning! Haha, you should know. You're a Tegoshi fan :p Unexpectedly, again, it wasn't really Tegoshi who inspired my entry in the contest. It was definitely the birthday boy himself, Koyama Keiichiro.

Koyama must have a happy, eventful life, especially nowadays. His anticipated concert-on-his-birthdate finally came true. He won the hearts of fans all over again in his recent 10,000-character interview. NEWS is on the roll this 2015, and his baby niece is indeed a great blessing. I'm so happy for riida who said "I'm enveloped in a feeling of happiness so amazing I couldn't even describe..." And just like this post, which, in the next paragraphs will be about the joys of my fandom and RL state, might be overwhelming to read, hence I'm prepping to make it coherent. Good luck 'bout that. LOL xD

It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore.

There were many turning points. As early as 2013 I already had a lingering thought of 'I wouldn't lose to life for my own sake, and because I want to prove that as a Tego fan I can fight like what he does'. But a more recent (and equally powerful) turning point was in mid-March, and was Tegoshi-related too*push mo yan Tegs! xD*. The big difference though, among all these turning points, this impelled me to act. Finally(As joyous as the housewives singing Ariel 7.50)

How it happened: I spent the day lazing around, so when evening came I was super busy that I didn't catch up on the ItteQ episode aired that night.

Why it was a big deal: I anticipated that episode! I even had a flail-plan days ahead--which, obviously, didn't happen.

Where's the turning point: I cried, and came to question myself in a real furious manner. "If you didn't procrastinate, you would've watched it on time... That's your problem, always been your problem. Look how procrastination brought you up. You said you're a coward and you can't do things? No you aren't. You know you're brave. Your real problem is procrastination. It's the reason your grades flunked. Why you almost got kicked out. Why your prof never had trust in you. It's what your mom always stresses whenever she scolds you. It's what everyone notices. It is what will deprive you of everything you want; a career, Tegoshi, and all..."

^ Turned out, an intense self-talk is what I really needed.

That night I found a philosophy I knew I had to stick on to. I've got to accomplish things. Big or small. Always look for stuff to work; always look forward to make stuff work. Grab opportunities. Delay worries. Damn, I never said it would be easy. But since that turning point (and with the guide of a self-help book I've sought not too long after), I felt... more invincible. Perhaps the bravery was really within me. I just had to make it come out.

These past few weeks RL's topsy-turvy. Yes, bad things still happen. If I'm gonna count them the negatives might even outnumber the positives. In spite of, I've noticed that I'm barely crying now. I got a surer hold of myself! And motivations come easily to me now~

My hairstyle's changed, my way of interacting with people has improved. My temper was stabilized. I've gotten more industrious (naks!). For the first time I cooked a complicated dish without any help. My graphics, though I rarely make one these days, significally enhanced. I learned new songs and new genres. Aah, there are a lot more I could add (but my diary's here to catch the extra leaves). Most importantly, I feel like I am going into a clear direction. A talent handler discovered me and offered to manage me!

I will continue living my life, dear LJ, and I hope I could give you updates. :) Truthfully I have many fandom projects I have not yet completed or haven't even started, sorry for that ^.^ You can check my FB though and see that I'm still very active in the fandom.

In fact I've made (or I am in the process of making) personal fandom projects like fanfics and music reviews and opinion posts, etc. You know, the usual Leya juggling everything EXCEPT edits and layouts because I barely use the desktop nowadays. T_T It's mostly the fanfics I place my joy on, having completed almost 5+ fics in a span of half a year! Two fics in a year was my norm back then. If not for my new closest friend in the fandom I wouldn't be inspired as much today. Though I have yet to decide whether to finish my music reviews, which I couldn't sense anything close to finishing. Now that I remember, I made a review of MR. WHITE short film review back in March; wait I'll post it here soon~

I'll end this post with my latest cover photo in FB. An edited biased screencap from one of Tegomass no Seishun DVD promotions! Who isn't exciteeeed, we'll finally watch them again after three years. To be honest I have very high expectations from this con because their 3rd tour, Tegomass no Mahou is my undisputed fave NEWS/Tegomass concert. I think you already know that, oh well. I don't expect TMnS to excede TMnM but at least I want to get a similar feeling from both of these cons.

Tsuki no Tomodachi, be my friend too~ *(◆∨◆)*

(no subject)

Date: 2015-05-08 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Kyaaaa u won! I wanted to participate at those contests too but uni is being a bitch lately orz . :P *high 5* to us both cause i'm the biggest procrastinator ever lol Until now it hasn't affected me very bad though but if keep pushing it eventually it'll destroy me . So i agree totally with you . It's good that you decided to fix yourself because this is where it all starts :) I wish you all the best from now on :)

Congrats for your present!!!

And Happy Happy Birthday to my baby hubby <3

(no subject)

Date: 2015-05-09 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*high five* xD

Thank you! My procrastination has affected me so bad, unfortunately. So my aim would be to change it. Just like Koyama said, "Being losers was easy. Because after that there was nothing to do but win." He's totally right~ ♥ it's so awesome how the fandom could actually help you in hard times. I dunno if this post could inspire enough but I hope it could help you too, even in just a small way :D and then after we're both procrastination-free we could high five again LOOOOOL :)

I also haven't participated in giveaways for some time, until recently xD These are regular giveaways hosted by kind Paanas, you can join once you're less busy!

Belated happy birthday Koyamaaaa~ it's a month-long celebration hehe (≧∪≦)

(no subject)

Date: 2015-05-08 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hi my dear Leya, ohisashi buri desu ne, sobrang walang communication.but...
first of all I wanna congratulate you and wishing you all the best, masaya ko para sa yo.pagpatuloy mo yan. at happy bday sa fave leader ko my special idol koyamama. thanks for being so kind-hearted #lam na
alam mo wala na kong alam sa yo, mula ng nawala cel mo, ni hindi ko na alam your wherabouts, whatabouts, wala kang update sa akin, kung may bago ka na bang cel#. ang hirap ng walang contact, although God knows i do miss you a lot, alam ni diane yan..and the fact na nagkaproblema din ako sa pag access ng mga sites sa PC ko, eksaktong 1 month na today.happy first month naman sa akin sa sadness ko na yan, hahaha, di ko alam kung ano nangyari di ako maka access sa lj, jpopsuki, tokyohive, arama japan atbpang sites,ang pwede lang yahoo d-addicts, twitter at yung tumblr na madalas nagloloko pa. kaso di naman ako maka twitter masakit ang ulo ko at mat lagi, di ako makatagal tumitig sa momitor at juzmi 8 or 9 pm pa lang inaantok na ko, see ang aga kong nagising ngayon sinasamantala kong mag lj gamit yung laptop ng pinsan ng niece ko [kaso may virus yata lahat ng dinawnload ko di mabasa o magplay sa pc ko. nagkachance akong magvisit ngayon sa post mo at makapag- comment, kasi nga miss na kita. tiis lang muna sa naraarmdamang sakit ng ulo at mata anyway ito lang naman yung comment kong nobela hahaha. pag naayos na pc ko masaya na ko. sana pagtyagaan mong basahin to now lang ako ulit nakapagcomment ng nobela aray ang mata sumasakit na... at least i wanna let you know na kung may time at chance lang din andito ko sa page mo. ingat always. and hope to see you. yun pa din # ko 09063298199. yoroshiku
hugs tight
#tego popopo

(no subject)

Date: 2015-05-09 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Tita Joy! Miss mo na ako, di halata sa long comment! LOL

Seriously na, sorry kung missing in action ako nitong nagdaang mga buwan. May bagong phone na ako pero may defect eh kaya di ko masyadong ginagamit. Sa FB talaga ako active tita, pero I understand na hindi ka bumi-bisita dun kaya magtetext nalang ako sayo.

Waah tita sana maayos na PC mo. di narin ako masyadong nakaka-desktop ngayon. But I know you need to go online more than I kasi nagdi-dl ka ng mga files, ako naman eh hindi e. Take care of your health, too!

Miss you na po T^T


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